Stupid little monkey.....

Christ once said that any who would follow Him must hate their sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers. Of course we know that this is really speaking of comparisons. That is to say, our love for Him ought to be such that our love for all others pales in comparison. The last couple of weeks I’ve been confronted with this. It’s an easy thing to say the words, it’s quite another to do the action.

I recently heard a song by Todd Agnew in which he says that “your creation is a temptation to me”. In the song he is lamenting the fact that Christ has commanded us to love Him, and follow Him, and have faith in Him, and cling to Him with all that we have, yet we allow these other things to get in the way: our comfort, our pride, our lust, our love of life. It would be funny if it weren’t so tragic, I think. If you consider the things that keep you from a fuller, more complete relationship with Christ…… well, it’s a bit ridiculous. We give up the beauty of an intimate relationship with the Creator in favor of something temporal on this earth. I’m only going to be around here for another 50 or 60 years at best and I’ve spent my first 35 years clinging to things and people – preferring them above Christ. It just doesn’t make sense.

It’s like that monkey we’ve all heard about in the illustration. He’ll give up his freedom and everything in his happy little monkey life in order to get that little treat in the empty coconut shell. He clings to that treat even as the hunter approaches him with the club. Pretty soon, the monkey is either on a dinner plate or in a zoo all because he abandoned common sense in order to cling to the here and now. In my own life I’ve given up the rewards, benefits, and freedom found in a full, right relationship with Christ all in order to cling onto something temporal. At times that thing has been money, lust, pleasure, family…..it doesn’t matter what it is. When I’ve held onto it and preferred it above Christ, it has been sin. In truth, those things that seem to bring happiness don’t even come close to bringing the true joy that is only found in Christ. The Apostle Paul got hold of that truth from the moment of his conversion and never let it go. That’s the reason he could pen words like, “everything that was gain to me, I now count as loss”, or “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain”.

I’ve sang songs hundreds – maybe thousands – of times that contained words like, “I surrender all”, and “my life, Lord, is Yours to control”, yet those words have been empty and hollow words as I’ve never let go of everything. In my head I’ve always understood that He is Lord of all, yet in practice I’ve never wanted Him to be Lord of all in my life. What foolishness! What arrogance!

What has frightened me all this time? Am I so arrogant as to think that my plans, my ambitions, my dreams are better than His? Am I afraid that He might take from me what belongs to Him in the first place? Am I worried that the manifold blessings He has allowed me to enjoy in this life will somehow just vanish if I give my all to Him? I wonder….have I thought all this time that following Him fully might bring pain and suffering rather than the true joy and blessings that are found only by abiding in Him?

I look back on wasted years and only one word comes to mind……..”fool”.

Is His Grace Really Sufficient?

2Corinthians 12:7-10 (ESV): “So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Philippians 1:21 (ESV): “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”

This past Sunday I attempted to preach a sermon on God’s grace and his power being made perfect through weakness…..unfortunately, I was unable to do much talking due to spending much of the message attempting to reel in my emotions. By nature I’m a passionate individual, but I do not display much emotion outside of excitement and happiness. On Sunday however, I couldn’t get the tears to stop flowing. I spent two days preparing a message that, as the Lord impressed the truths upon my heart, caused me to weep. Granted, I also had thoughts of the recent passing of an old friend as well as the passing of a lifelong friend a year or so ago, but those thoughts were not the cause of my emotional reaction to the words of the passage of Scripture listed above. Rather, as I studied this passage I was confronted with the truth that, for one to truly experience God’s grace in full measure, there may have to come a time of deep despair, anguish, hardship, tragedy.

To see the change that the Apostle Paul underwent between verses 7 and 9 above is astonishing. He goes from earnest, fervent, "kneeled-prayer" pleading for Christ to remove this excruciating thing from his life to gladly embracing it because it allowed him to rely more and more on the grace of God. This caused me to face some things in my life in a more tangible way than I ever have.

Often I’ve said that I want to experience God’s working in my life and molding me into what He needs me to be, but I’ve never really comprehended the fact that part of the molding and shaping process might just mean some serious breaking. This last week I faced things in my life that caused me to pause for a second and ask myself if I was really willing to pay the price that absolute surrender might carry with it. I’ve seen the tragedy of parents losing children and husbands losing wives unexpectedly – I’ve seen God’s grace manifest itself in a marvelous way in those situations. I’ve marveled at how He worked through both the dead and the living in those seemingly tragic situations and yet somehow I’ve never caught that those situations might just be a part of absolute surrender to God.

As these truths were being printed more firmly on my heart I began to bend under the weight of it all and I began to understand that I’d never fully surrendered to God and I found myself terrified to do so now. I just wanted to hold on tightly to everything God had given me – my wife, my children, my health – I found myself clinging to these things as if to say, “No, God! You can have everything, but you can’t take the things that might cause me pain. I trust you and I love you, but I need these things”. That’s when I broke.

“When I am weak, then I am strong”.

“My grace is sufficient”.

“For me to live is Christ and to die is gain”.

These three truths – these three promises – are more real to me than they’ve ever been. While I may not have been able to adequately convey this in the sermon yesterday, the Holy Spirit certainly worked me over with this one. I’ve got a peace in my soul and a satisfaction in my spirit today that I’m not certain I’ve ever had before!

On the passing of an old friend....

Yesterday I found out that an old friend had passed on to Glory. While his passing on has been something that's been expected for 14 years, it still took the wind out of me when I first heard. Tuesday afternoon and evening (and on into Wednesday morning) I've been reflecting on the brief period of my life when I counted myself as a friend of Jeremy. It's brought a lot of smiles as well as tears to my face. Most of my readers here never knew Jeremy although some of you know his brother (or at least know who his brother is). I wish that everybody had had the opportunity to meet Jeremy......it was something you never forgot! What follows are some of my memories of Jeremy Janz, as well as my recollection of the night of his accident 14 years ago last month.

I met Jeremy for the first time my very first night on the campus of Northland Baptist Bible College. His younger brother (Jason) is the same age as I am and we had met during our Senior year of High School. Jason was one of the first people I ran into when I got to Northland and I was thrilled to find a familiar face. Jay quickly introduced me to a number of people including his brother. Pretty soon I found myself in Jeremy's dorm room talking to him like I'd known him forever. As I've read tributes to Jeremy in various places on the internet this evening, I've come to discover that my experience wasn't unique....this was just the way Jer was!

Before our conversation was over that first night, Jeremy invited me to spend Friday night at a cabin down by one of the lakes at Northland with him and about a dozen other guys. I agreed and he helped me get the pass to go. As we were headed down there - on foot, in January, in Northern Wisconsin - Jeremy hung back and talked to me rather than all these other guys who were friends of his. He got my entire life story from me during that 15 minute walk! That night we all stood on the middle of a frozen lake and sang gospel songs, we roasted marshmallows in the fire place, and we had a testimony / prayer meeting that Jeremy lead. I began to realize that God had made sure that I fell in with the "good crowd" at school!

Fast forward 30 months. I was spending my 2nd summer on staff at the WILDS of the Rockies Christian camp in Kremling, Colorado. The previous summer we saw Jeremy quite a bit. He would come up every now and again to see us (his brother was also working at TWR) and we would go down to Denver and stay at the Janz' home on some weekends. Jeremy would keep us busy with things like water basketball and bungee jumping! However, during our 2nd summer at the WILDS, Jeremy was doing a pastoral internship at a small church in Hebron (I think), Utah. One Sunday night in July one of the full-time staffers from camp came into Jason's cabin and woke Jay and I up. Campers were already gone and I was staying the night at Jay's place that evening. The man who woke us up said, "Jason, you need to call home. Your brother's been in an accident. It's bad."

Jay and I hurriedly got dressed without speaking. We began to walk towards the lodge quickly, the only words that had passed between us was Jay saying, "Oh, Murph". Pretty soon we were on a dead sprint for the lodge. You see, Jason and Jeremy were not just brothers....they were closer to one another than any best friends that I've ever seen.

When we got to the lodge, the eldest of the three Janz daughters was already in there (she was working with us that summer as well). Jay went around to the phone and called home while Jocelyn and I stood there waiting. I heard Jason say, "Dad?". Pretty soon all I heard was crying and Jocelyn began to wail. We hugged as we waited for Jason to get off the phone and tell us the news. Jeremy had been riding his bicycle into town and had been struck by a pickup truck going 50 mph or so. He had been taken to a hospital in Salt Lake City, but he wasn't expected to make it through the night.

Well, he made through that night and 14 more years of nights after that, although he never regained consciousness. He has spent the last 14 years in a vegetative state almost identical to that of Terry Schiavo (if you remember all the controversy that stirred several years ago concerning her).

I struggled for a long time with the whole thing, to tell you the truth. At the end of the summer of '94 Jeremy's parents had him moved to Denver where he was put into a nursing home of sorts. I moved to Denver that fall and I went to visit Jeremy nearly every day just trying to understand. This guy was so full of life - more so than just about anybody I'd met before or since. He lived to serve others and to bring honor to the name of Christ. He could preach, teach, sing, and he studied the Word faithfully. He was so driven to serve the Lord , yet mere weeks before his wedding and the beginning of his first full-time ministry as a youth pastor in his home church in Denver, he was cut down. It didn't make any sense to me then.....and I guess it doesn't make logical sense to me even now. However, in a strange way God has used Jeremy in a tremendous way during the last 14 years. Maybe even more so than He did during those first 22 years!

I realize that this post is somewhat rambling and that all the thoughts aren't connected very well, but I'm sorting through a lot of memories and, at 2am, I may not be doing a great job of turning those memories into congruous thoughts!

I'll always remember Jeremy and I'll continue to miss him. When I've thought of him over the years, the pictures that came to mind were rarely the broken, scrawny, out-of control shell that lay helpless in the hospital bed, but rather the loud, happy, smiling, Zubu pant wearing, white high-top and pink suit coat sporting friend of everybody! I remember the guy who always had a great story to tell, and who was always ready to talk about the goodness of God. I only knew him for two-an-a-half years before the accident, but you didn't need to know Jeremy for more than a few minutes before you could call him "friend"!

I look forward to seeing him again someday. He's in a body that works again and he's in the presence of the God Whom he so loved and lived for!

A little laugh.....

Sometimes it's good to laugh - even if the laugh is at our own expense. A Recent thread over at SharperIron is taking a rather humorous approach to the subject of "You Might be a Fundamentalist...."

Enjoy!

A letter to Ted Thompson and the Green Bay Packers...

I've got a three word solution to this entire Brett Favre situation: Take him back.

It’s simple really…..one of the top 5 quarterbacks in NFL history is coming off arguably his best season ever and he wants to throw the ball for another year or so. Take him back. The man had such an incredible season last year that he actually got an MVP vote even with the year that Tom Brady put together and he wants to give it another shot this year. Take him back.

Let’s face reality….without Brett Favre during the last 15 years, the Packers would likely still be mired in meiocrity as they were prior to his emergence as a dominating force in the NFL. Three MVP’s, two Super Bowl appearances, a perennial Pro Bowler, the career leader in every major QB stat…..and he’s still playing at the top of his game! Take him back!

I know it’s tough. Pride’s a rough thing and Favre has gone about trying to get his way in somewhat of an embarrassing manner. He’s all but used the word “liar” to describe you. And while he’s still one of the most likeable individuals to ever don an NFL uniform, he’s been a bit of a drama queen about the whole retirement thing. But in making your decision about this entire situation you should keep one thing in mind…..he’s Brett Favre! Every NFL team would love to have a guy leading their team with the kind of grit, determination, and pure toughness that Favre has displayed season after season and week after week. He’s the closest thing the NFL has to Superman and all you have to do is take him back!

Sure, this Aaron Rogers thing is tough. He’s been on the sidelines for three years (by the way, Steve Young spent 4 years on the sidelines watching Montana) and he’s chomping at the bit to take over this great franchise. Rogers had a great game against Dallas last year. On that particular day he was the better quarterback. He outplayed Favre and went toe-to-toe with Romo….but that was only one game. Other than that, what’s he done? I don’t recall a single preseason game where he’s looked anything other than mediocre. He broke a foot in another regular season appearance and spent the rest of that season on crutches….Favre wouldn’t have used crutches and he would have kept playing. Now I certainly am not saying that Rogers can’t play. Who knows…he might be the next Steve Young. However, he might be the next Ryan Leaf. With Favre you know what you’re going to get: a certified winner.

Listen, you can’t win this battle by any means other than surrender. If you let Favre go things could get real ugly. The only way you win that one is if two things happen: Favre has the worst season he’s ever had and Aaron Rogers leads the Pack to a dominating Super Bowl victory. Now if you are willing to bet the farm on those two things happening….and they both have to happen….then go ahead and send Brett packing. But let’s face it; the notion of Rogers leading the Packers to a Super Bowl victory this season is pretty farfetched. If you let Favre back at the helm this season, you can’t lose – unless of course he has an abysmal year, but that’s not likely to happen given the season he’s coming off of. If you keep Rogers as your starter, every single loss will sting a little bit more. Think about it, what if you go from a 13-3 season that ended with on OT loss in the NFC Championship to a 7-9 season and no appearance in the playoffs? Not likely with Favre at the helm; a possibility with Rogers there.

If you choose not to take Favre back as your starter, I’ll understand. I’ve never responded well to employees dictating terms to me, either. Oh, I’ll mourn a bit if Favre’s wearing a different jersey. I’ll even be cheering for whatever team Favre goes to, but I’ll still support the Pack. And if Favre’s new team meets the Packers this year, you can bet that I’ll be cheering for Woodson and Harris to pick off every pass he throws and for KGB and Hawk to hit him in the mouth a couple of times. But a part of me will be a little sick at the spectacle….Favre needs to be in a Packers uniform this year finishing the job left over from last year. Take him back…….please.

“In Remembrance of Me….”

Note: Our two oldest children both recently – at different times – made professions of faith. We’ve been extremely careful in not forcing the issue with either one of them and we’ve also been quite cautious with our choice of words. We’ve never told them that they were saved and we continue to proceed with a great deal of caution as we watch for some developing fruit. For additional thoughts on children and salvation, please read a post I added some time ago on the subject - it can be found here.

The other night I had one of those first time experiences that I think is a blessing for every Christian father. We were observing the Lord’s Supper at our Sunday evening church service. My wife and youngest son were both at home sick, so it was just Trey, Ashleigh, and me. I spoke to both of them about Communion on the way to church and asked if they wanted to take part….they did. I asked them to pay "extra-close attention" to what our pastor was saying and to let me know if they had any questions at any time. As the elements were being passed to us I took the opportunity to whisper to each of them individually the significance of each element…what it was and wasn’t, as well as the symbolism involved.

I think they understood and approached it all with a measure of gravity. I certainly approached it much differently than in the past. Explaining to them what we were doing and why….walking through the crucifixion story and reflecting on salvation…..all of it caused me to reflect deeper on the sacrifice and love shown to us by the Savior. In all it was one of those experiences that I’ll always treasure!

A few changes.....

You'll notice that my "blogroll" on the left hand side of the page is now in a new format. Rather than an alphabetical listing of my favorite blogs, the roll is now set up in more of a "feed" format. As the 20 or 30 blogs to which I link update, their updates will be listed at the top of the roll.

I've also taken the opportunity to add a couple of links that I enjoy but have never linked to from this site. Take the time to check out some of these places. Most of the blogs and sites to which I link have edified, encouraged, or educated me. Some of the others have made me think, while there are some to which I link simply because they make me laugh!

I've also removed a couple of links.....mainly because, while their site still exists, they've stopped updating (yes Hannah.....I'm talking to you :) ).